This blog is now defunct. It will stay active for my own reference but I would like you to invite you to A Tripod’s Quest. Still me but with a stronger focus on my current pursuit as a professional journalist and an all-round nutcase. But seriously, give it a look. It’ll be worth your time. Cheers, Christian P. Bryant
Oh boy, hush! Ain’t nobody thinking about you. That lil’ bit of...– Grandma’s response after I requested she button her night gown before I entered her quarters
The Master List of Hangover Remedies
For the Morehouse College and Spelman College 2010 Homecoming-goers. Let’s make memories … then forget all about them. In Esquire magazine’s Spring 2010 edition of The Big Black Book, writers compiled articles and information from all over to provide gentlemen with “knowledge and skills to care for [their] clothes, protect [their] bodies, win over women, and cure a...
Love you, boys. Do smart things. Don’t do dumbass things.– Mom bestowing her well wishes upon my brother and I
Filing for Unemployment: A Story of Disappointment
I’ve always said that Greensboro, NC does wonders for the psyche. It is stark in comparison to my previous location and this place is one that is near to my heart. The solace of vibrant foliage and (mostly) quaint inhabitants is second-to-none and it allows one to effectively clear one’s head. Unfortunately the old adage has held true: An empty mind is the Devil’s workshop. Currently, my...
What the hell I need to see that for? I don’t take his ass down the...– Dad (attorney) commenting on my uncle leaving a kitchen appliance disassembled to show his progress
Wanda, you let these kids run all over you with a double-wheeled truck!– Grandma to Mom after (inaccurately) imitating complaints from my siblings and I
Keep feeding the dog grapes and she gone have the shits. She’s gonna be...– Grandma on the family dog’s health
A neat little invention that is taking the world... →
Church Fashion 2010
Lithonia, GA — The allegations made against prominent televangelist Bishop Eddie Long have proven to be simply jaw-dropping. In a context where accusations of child-molesting clergymen are periodic (see CNN Special: What the Pope Knew), each new victim that steps forward succeeds in being a novel-esque shocker. Even so, it’s interesting to me that people have failed to...
They always put that slut Tracy with the black athletes … oh wait, her...– Sister on Dancing with the Stars
A Message to the Conscious Shopper
A recent study has been conducted regarding oblivious shoppers and their apparent victimization at the hands of kiosk vultures. This term may be unfamiliar to most (everybody) but we have all seen them; the seemingly innocent salesmen and women who are selling some amazing new product. Whether it be a cordless steamer for your wrinkly dress clothes or a miraculous skin-care product or a...
Pleasant exchange between Grandmother and Grandson
Me: "Grams, lemme have a ritz cracker."
Grams: "Take these two."
M: "But I only want one."
G: "You put your hand on both of them so take both. I seen you with your hands in your pants."
G: "I ain't eatin' nothin' from nobody with dirty hands!"