Narrative on a sitcom-esque life from an unreliable narrator

Posts Tagged: funny

Ran across this video while stalking my sister on Facebook.  Times have changed but it’s good to see that shows like Sesame Street have kept pace. 

Showtime, Grover!  Give us your best Isaiah Mustafa impersonation!

"What the hell I need to see that for? I don’t take his ass down the jailhouse and say ‘This is a jailhouse,’ do I?"

- Dad (attorney) commenting on my uncle leaving a kitchen appliance disassembled to show his progress

"Wanda, you let these kids run all over you with a double-wheeled truck!"

- Grandma to Mom after (inaccurately) imitating complaints from my siblings and I

"Keep feeding the dog grapes and she gone have the shits. She’s gonna be shittin’ everywhere. If she shit in the house, i’mma come get yo’ lil’ ass and make you clean it up."

- Grandma on the family dog’s health

  • Me: "Grams, lemme have a ritz cracker."
  • Grams: "Take these two."
  • M: "But I only want one."
  • G: "You put your hand on both of them so take both. I seen you with your hands in your pants."
  • M: "Whaat?!"
  • G: "I ain't eatin' nothin' from nobody with dirty hands!"